24 hours

It is 5:00 am local time here and Sarah and myself are wide awake. It was one long and interesting trip. Much can happen in 24 hours.

Our first leg of the trip was from Tampa to PHX which departed at 7:45 am Eastern (I'll try to keep all time in Eastern). Being the knight in shining armor, of course I take the middle seat and of course the man seated on the window side next to me is 'overweight' and by overweight I mean Jabba the Hutt meets 'Fat Bastard'. He was so big that he took up 15% of my seat as well. He tried to stay only in his seat by putting his arms on his gargantuan belly which helped some for the shoulders but I was still leaning over into Sarah's seat while we watched Twilight on my netbook. Twilight = bad acting + bad music selection. I remember hearing Collective Soul from the early 2000's at one point.

We arrived in PHX at about noon Eastern and immediately looked of where to eat. A cop recommended that we leave the concourse and go out to a mall area since we have about 5 hours to kill. We got ourselves a couple 10 dollar chicken salad sandwiches and split a Pibb Xtra. After eating we decided to head back into the concourse to wait for the flight. As we sit down I realize I had forgotten by Klean Kanteen on the earlier flight. It kinda stinks because now I have to purchase a 2 dollar water (airports rip you off so much!). I'll stop with on the nonsense about the airport and get to the good part.

We get on the plane and find our seats. To our pleasure we have a window and middle seat with no one behind us (bathrooms were behind us and didn't smell throughout the trip). We sit down and wait to see who sits next to me. I was praying for a normal sized female so that I could have some should space. It turns out to be a hippy lookcing girl with what Sarah calls a jello top. A jello top is similar to a muffin top except it just jiggles around all the time. The way she carried herself made you think she was lost all the time or confused. For example: when she came up to her seat, she thought we were sitting in her window seat even though if you look at the diagram there is a gigantic window next to 'F' which was Sarah's seat. She always seemed to be misplacing something or no knowing what was going on. We talked to her before the plan left and found out that she was from Israel and lives in Ft. Lauderdale now. She's going to Hawaii for at least a month and is going to look for a job or something along those lines.

As we sat there, the attendants came on the speaker phone to let everyone know that the flight had been delayed at least 40 minutes due to a connecting flight from Chicago holding 40 passengers for this flight being delayed. So they have boarded this plane just to wait an extra 40 minutes. We finally leave and 10 minutes into the flight, the Hippy Israeli whipps out a sleeping pill and asks us if we want to switch since she will be sleeping the entire time. I say no thanks knowing that we don't want to give up our luxurious window seat.

The first signs of invasion into my seat started with her foot. She decides to put her foot in my foot space. I step on her not knowing the foot was there and she gets startled, looks at me like I just pooped in her bed and moves her foot. Sarah and I switch seats so that I could lean against the wall and she could lean against me. We do a few crosswords and Sudokus with occasional stops to poke at this sleeping pill girl to move a limb or jello top away from our seat. She pretty much ignores all of our pokes and shakes to wake her up to move so Sarah and I decide to switch back seats. As I get back into the middle seat, crazy woman is curled up with her backside/jello top/ side fat sticking out into my seat to the point that the armrest would go down 5 degrees. I shake her to wake her but she doesn't budge so I decide to just push it down a little bit to hopefully wake her. As soon as she felt the armrest come down a little bit she jumps up and literally yells 'STOP MESSING WITH ME, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP' and continues to keep her skank body on my side of the arm rest. I somehow, by the beard of Zeus, kept my cool and politely told her to please move over and let me put down the armrest at which she responded with no and the act of ignoring me. I was furious so open up both window shutters that we had down to let the sun shine right in her face. This really woke her up and she starts yelling something along the lines of 'STOP MESSING WITH ME. YOU'VE BEEN MESSING WITH ME ALL DAY'. I told her to scoot over, let me put down the armrest and I'll close the shutter, she yells out saying I'm a baby and I just sat there and giggled.

I really wanted to tear her into little pieces but knew I'd probably get arrested and brought back to Florida. Unfortunately there was't a stewardess around to see this episode of physco girl from Israel. All the passengers in front of us turn around to see this fiasco and just look at the girl like she's crazy. This was still with 3 hours to go into the trip. The rest of the trip I watched Samurai Jack and thought about not destroying this girl.

As we approached the Honolulu airport, Sarah and I got to take pictures of the island from the plane and the view was just amazing. Honolulu is a busy place and its crazy to think that we are completely cut-off from the rest of the world. Anyways, Sarah will fill you in on what we did when we finally got to her Grand-ma's house. Oh and Chinese food in Hawaii is amazing.